this'll be the day that I die

I could not be more thankful for where I am NOT today.

I am not stuck in a job that I hate.

I do not have to deal with constant idiocy, mediocrity or stupidity.

I am not surrounded by people who bring me down.

I do not get home from work and cry.

I am not on my feet 8-9 hours a day, 5-6 days a week.

I am not hiding from every single person in my life. Including God.

I am not in a state of constant fear-induced nausea.

I do not lie to everyone's face about how I am feeling or what I am doing.

I do not go to sleep thinking how glad I am to have eight hours or so where I do not have to feel pain and where I cannot be hurt.



Of course, there are some things in my life I would like to work on...

I have to, have to, HAVE TO study.

I have to pass the state exam.

I have to make more money.

I have to find a way to keep my room and house clean.

I have to take care of myself. My body, my mind.

I have to die to self DAILY.

I have to spend time with the Lord DAILY.

I have to listen for His voice, His Word, His instructions.

I have to serve others, put their needs above my own. DAILY.

I have to do all these things to become the person I need to be. To be able to be the wife and the mother I long to be. I will commit to do these things for my future family. For my husband, and my children. I promise you I will. I promise I will. I will.

"There in your wilderness He's waiting for you - come, worship Him with your wounds, for He's wounded too!"