every time it rains, it rains pennies from heaven

CONFESSIONS

I was inspired by another blogger to write a blog post of confessions. Confessions about me, my life, things that I have done/am currently doing, lest anyone be fooled into thinking my life is perfect, I am perfect, I have it all together, or I can do anything. (Which, if you think that, you've obviously never read the rest of my blog...)

1. I am 23 years old and I still live with my parents.

My parents are wonderful people and have allowed me to live with them all this time, rent-free, and I barely do anything to help out around the house. I never do the dishes (although to be fair, my dad is the only one who can really do them well at all). I never vacuum unless asked to. I rarely cook (although that's not really my fault, I'm NEVER home during dinner). I really feel ashamed of myself that I never do anything around the house, but my parents either beat me to the chores or do them so much better that I don't even bother. We'll see if I can get better at this.

2. I have been in BSF my entire life and have yet to do my lesson one section every day, as it's meant to be.

I usually do my lesson split between two days, or else all in one sitting. And I almost always do my Homiletics on Tuesday afternoons before leaders' meeting. Monday and Tuesday are my big homework days. I would LOVE to do my lesson one day at a time, as it's meant to be, but something always gets in the way or more often than not I just forget. And I'm a BSF leader. Yikes...another thing I'd love to get better at!

3. My books are organized alphabetically by author's last name, and my DVDs are organized alphabetically by title...and there ends any and all organization in my room.

I'm very right-brained and like to have my stuff out where I can see it. This drives the left section of my brain CRAZY and I get desperate to have my stuff put away. The result is that my stuff often gets thrown onto the red chair next to my bookcase. Books, DVDs and clothes get piled high on that chair. Every so often I'll put it all away, but without fail another pile will gather, seemingly within minutes. I hate the two parts of my brain that constantly fight with each other on how my room ends up - I LOVE the way it looks when it's clean and everything is put away, but then I hate that I can't see all my stuff, so when I get it out again I don't put it back! It's a very vicious cycle.

4. I am a musician and I desperately want my degree in music education, but I hate practicing and I hate school.

Practicing any instrument is not something I enjoy. It's tedious work, which I don't like, and it's physically painful, which I don't tolerate very well, and often practice sessions feel very unsuccessful, which I can't stand. And I don't like school, because it always gets in the way of other things I want to do. It eats up most of my time and keeps me from being able to spend time with my friends, which I resent. Yet my ultimate life goal is to be a music teacher and spend my days in school teaching students the joy of music and the beauty of being able to express yourself that way. Such a paradox.

5. I love to write, I have an obvious talent for it, and there IS a novel sitting inside my head waiting to be written, but it's been over three months since I've written anything other than blog posts.

I LOVE writing. The English language is hilarious, ridiculous, stupid, beautiful, and I love words and sentence structure. I love using word pictures, and I love describing people and the world and situations with words. I love the profound truths one learns through well-written novels. I love character development and plot twists and emotions and some descriptions. I love writing styles. And I have a novel in mind, part of a plot, a number of characters, and yet I cannot find the time or ability to write anything. This novel desperately needs to get written, and I simply will not make the time to write anything.

6. If I have any extra money, I will most likely spend it on either food, books, DVDs or jewelry.

I heart food. Chipotle, Canes, and Corner Bakery are my current places of choice. And few things are better than going into Half Price Books empty handed and coming back out with a new stack of books and DVDs. Despite the fact that I really need two or three new pairs of shoes, two or three new pairs of pants, and a couple of other practical items of clothing, I will rarely spend my money on those things. I so much prefer accessories and books and DVDs. I have so many books and I love them all, far more than my clothes...

7. My pair of shoes for work make my feet smell terrible, and every day when I come home from work I have to soak my feet in vodka to get rid of the odor.

This pretty much speaks for itself. I've only just discovered the magic of how well vodka removes foot odor, but it really, truly works! Just a couple splashes of vodka in a bucket/foot bath for five to ten minutes will get rid of foot odor. Rinse the vodka off your feet in the tub and you'll be good to go! Of course, your feet will smell ever so slightly of vodka when you're done, but I much prefer that to the dreadful odor of stinky feet. Rub a little lotion on them to get rid of the vodka smell and to help moisturize them.

8. I keep a supply of M&Ms in my room for insurance.

I have a little candy jar that I keep them in, and I love it. I love M&Ms. Pretzel M&Ms are my favorite candy EVER, and I have a bag of those waiting to go in the candy jar next. And basically if you can't think of any reasons a woman would keep a candy jar of M&Ms in her room, then I have nothing to say to you.

Well, that's about all the confessions I have time for. Hopefully you've learned a little something about me, life, the universe, and other such things. More confessions to come at some point in life!

I'll be there for you like I've been there before

I'm so tired. I'm so tired it's unreal. I feel very drained, partially because I STILL have not caught up on my sleep since Saturday. And tonight I got my PIU schedule, and there's no telling when my next day off will be. Work, BSF and youth group are taking over my life! And I'm so tired! I'M SO TIRED! This sounds a little whiny, but I just feel so much like a dishrag. So many responsibilities, so many committments, so much giving, not enough rest - and I feel so drained. So drained.

Enter Christ, His love, and the immeasurable riches of His grace. I'm not drained. I can give to others from the immeasurable store of His grace that I have. I can share His love with others because the Holy Spirit makes me able. Everything - EVERYTHING - comes back to Christ. The entire message of the Bible, I'm realizing, is so very, very simple. It always, always, always points back to Christ and what He did on the cross. That is the ultimate way in which God is brought glory - nothing else could have glorified Him so much. He loved us so much that He sent His Son to die for us, so that we didn't have to! We don't have to die! We can live with God FOREVER!

I already feel better.

Friend shoutout - it's insane how much you've done for me. I really can't understand how I've believed the enemy's lies for so long, and you're the first one who's managed to open my eyes to the truth. God knows how to knit together friendships, and I couldn't be more thankful that He knit ours together as He has! I only hope I can be as much of a blessing and encouragement to you as you are to me.

every time we say goodbye, I die a little...

HUHUHUHUHUH I hate saying goodbye! I hate it! I had to say goodbye to Sam today - he's going back to England for the rest of the school year. I already have a thousand things to tell him....such as - I finished Perfect Match by Jodi Picoult, and on the second to last page, the final piece of information delivered rendered me speechless, gasping at the brilliance of her writing and the depth of the issues that she fearlessly tackles. I bought Date Night on DVD, and I'm not sure it gets any better than Steve Carell, Tina Fey, James Franco and Mila Kunis all in one movie. I saw the new Breaking Dawn trailer, and it looks absolutely breathtaking, despite the horrifically terrible excuse for writing that has made Stephenie Meyer a multi-millionaire. Tonight was my first BSF leaders' meeting, and I'm so, so, SO excited for Thursday!!!! God has already taught me so much through being a leader, and class hasn't even started yet! The spiritual discipline that I'm going to have to learn is going to be incredible. Absolutely incredible. The spiritual warfare that I'm going to have to endure is going to be insane.

I have to make nametags for my whole group, and I think I'm going to take this opportunity to unleash the tiniest bit of my creative side to do it. I'm going to get some plain notecards, write the information in calligraphy type handwriting, and maybe doodle some sort of border or something on there before I get them laminated. I'm excited! I love the idea of arts and crafts but I'm really, really bad at actually DOING them, so this will be good for me, and it will give me something to actually DO with my time...

And now I just want to praise God for how much He has done for me! All I have needed, His hand has provided. He's always faithful, always! And I cannot, cannot live as though He's going to take away the blessings He's given me. That is so, so wrong of me. He knows what I can and cannot bear, and won't ask me to do something that I can't do. I'm so afraid of so many things, but I need to be patient. "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Worrying is ungodly. Worrying is pointless, useless. He will provide everything I need: the counseling, the help, the solution, the money, the house, the roommate, the classes, the instruments. Everything I need, He will provide in His perfect way. I know this. I truly know this and believe it with all my heart. Why is it so easy to forget something I know beyond the shadow of a doubt is true??

I need to write my book. I need to write my book! AHHHHH SO MANY IDEAS, SO LITTLE ABILITY TO GET IT WRITTEN DOWN AT ALL...

Random closing thought: every time I go to Barnes&Noble I think about how much I want the black journal with the ruby slippers on the front. And I wonder when I'll get to buy it.

I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell

Well, full-time employment is not something I'm very good at. Tutti Frutti is bust. The owners are not good people for whom to work, so I quit. Too bad it took me an entire week to figure that out, but hey, I'm gone, and I never have to go back. Who can even say what will happen now? I'm not very concerned about it right now. There'll be something. God will provide all the money I need. I'll be fine.

And He will also provide me the ability to be a good BSF leader...I just got the first of many e-mails about it, giving me my discussion group contact info, and I am taking deep breaths and prepping myself to begin making the 13 phone calls I need to make. Yes, I have 13 women in my group, and all but three of them are over 30. I am leading a group of women who are all 6-12 years older than me! What have I gotten myself into?? I'm feeling soooooo incapable of doing this, of leading this group of women, but yet I am the one doing it because God has called me to. And His strength will be made evident through my weaknesses. Tomorrow I begin the phone calls and the questions. And tomorrow I begin to practice the music for workshop and leader's meeting...something I feel slightly more comfortable doing. :)

My friends are amazing. I'm so blessed to have so many friends who are truly closer than a brother. So blessed.

Little shoutout to one friend in particular - I'm so glad you're my friend. So glad. I love you more than I can say, and hope that somehow you can be aware of how much I care for you. And if you need anything, I'm here! I can't think of very many things I wouldn't be willing to do for you.

life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter

I have once again entered the world of food service. Only this time, it's all one thing: FROZEN YOGURT!!! That's right - I now work at Tutti Frutti. I like it a lot. I forgot how much I love customer service, plus there's something about peeling and cutting fruit that is really soothing. It makes one feel productive, I think. Tutti Frutti is very different from Chick-fil-A, though - it's MUCH less official for one thing, much less busy, and there are so many fewer employees! But hey, it's a job, it's hours, and while it's basically minimum wage, it's still money, plus tips! God has a way of providing exactly what is needed. It's a great schedule, plus I can still work a couple shifts a week at Pump it Up, and yet I don't have to be at work all the time like I was at CFA. I can still keep my commitments to BSF and youth group - which is really all I need from a job.

So come see me at Tutti Frutti sometime! Seriously.

In other news, I have just gotten over two days of sore throat and fever that I literally brought upon myself by stressing too much. It's so interesting that stress physically manifests itself in me that way. Two days of sore throat and fever that jumped 4 degrees in 3 hours! It burned out at 102.2, after I took 8.5 pills to try to break it and enable myself to sleep...I really cannot be stressed about anything anymore. I cannot stand being sick. Plus, I need to just give it all to God. I can't allow these things to control me like this. I have tried, believe me I have, to let God bear the burden, to let Him do what He knows is best, to give Him what is already His that I've tried to take away...but clearly I needed a little jolt to really mean it.

I've just started reading Radical Together by David Platt. Never having read Radical, I'm not sure what will come from reading the follow-up first. But already I've been very convicted and encouraged by something he's said. I've been very concerned about my ministry in the youth group - not that I shouldn't be there or that I'm doing something absolutely wrong, but that I'm not having quite the effect I ought to. Here's some wisdom from David Platt:

"As Christians today, you and I can easily deceive ourselves into thinking that dedication to church programs automatically equals devotion to kingdom purposes. We can fill our lives and our churches with good things requiring our resources and good activities demanding our attention that are not ultimately best for the enjoyment of the gospel in our churches and the spread of the gospel in our communities.
We must be willing to sacrifice good things in the church in order to experience the great things of God."

He goes on to conclude: "The gospel compels the church to go to God with everything we have and everything we do and then ask, "What needs to go? What needs to change? What needs to stay the same?"
And then wait for God to answer."

This is really speaking to me. This issue has been on my heart for months. I feel like I'm doing good things in the church and not really spreading the gospel in the way Christ has called me to do. But I'm not sure how to deal with this. I'm still waiting for God to answer. We shall see what He says in the next few weeks! I'm literally so pumped for youth group and BSF to start! I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!

she's not a saint, and she's not what you think

I'm slightly freaking out right now. Kind of in a good way, kind of in an "I have no idea what's about to happen in my life" kind of way.

BSF (aka Bible Study Fellowship) starts in FIVE WEEKS!!!!!! Only five weeks!!!!!! I'm never going to make it!!!!!!!! In case I have neglected to mention, since I do not update this blog often enough at all, I am going to be a leader for the young adult BSF class in Dallas at Park Cities Baptist on Thursday nights from 7-9. (If anyone wants to come, I just gave you the details. COME!!! IT IS SO WORTH IT!!!!!) BSF starts September 15, and I am going to be a leader. Even though I've been in BSF my entire life, I'm beginning to think I may be in over my head here. I haven't fully participated in a BSF study since high school. I did about six weeks of the John study in '09 and about six weeks of Isaiah this past May. Other than that, I haven't been in BSF since I was 18. It's been nearly FIVE YEARS!!! Holy crap!!!!!!

What have I committed to? What have I said I would agree to? I can't do this. I can't. I'm not good enough. I'm a little flaky when it comes to stuff like this. I don't have the answers. I rely on the notes and on my mom very heavily............and naturally therein is the problem. I'm not relying enough on the Holy Spirit to help me. Not just with the answers, but with my leadership. This bit of panic that I'm having means nothing. I'm doing exactly what God wants me to do. If He doesn't want me to be in BSF leadership, He won't let me.

But seriously. YOU NEED TO COME TO BSF!!!! No matter where you live - there are classes EVERYWHERE. Wherever you live. I'm not kidding. Go to bsfinternational.org and you will find a class near you! Men's, women's, young adults, if you need child care or want your child to be in the children's program, there is a class that you can go to! Morning, evening, maybe even afternoon classes, seriously. There IS a class that will work for you! And you should go. You should go. BSF is a life-changing Bible study. It takes a passage of Scripture and tells you exactly how it can be applied to your life right now. Whatever you're going through, there are ways to apply these Scriptures to your life. Even Scriptures like Obadiah, Leviticus, Numbers, and Haggai, as well as the gospels of John and Matthew, and the writings of Paul. God will open your eyes to countless things you never knew, about Him and His Word and your own life and your own relationship with Him and your relationships with others. I'm not kidding. Please, please, please consider this. This year's study is Acts and Paul's Letters. Classes start the week of September 12. PLEASE consider going to BSF and/or putting your kids through it as well!!!!!

Was that enough of a plug for BSF? I really, really, really hope so.

I feel so humbled and so honored and so privileged to be a leader this year!!!! I can't wait to see what God has in store for our class. Something tells me this school year is going to be very interesting.

God has won, Christ prevailed

It is well
It is well
Through the storm I am held
It is well
It is well
With my soul -
It is well
It is well
God has won, and Christ prevailed
It is well
it is well
with my soul!


Well, with the post below this one being what it is, that makes this one even more difficult to write, but I'm writing it anyway.

I have just lost the job at Peak Physical Therapy. Basically they said they were unsatisfied with my performance and were not interested in giving me any more time to improve. After four weeks of work, apparently I was not doing well enough and they were not interested in helping me do any better. I think there has been some measure of miscommunication between me and my manager there, because I knew I was making mistakes but I wasn't sure how to fix them or how to do better. Between my week in Colorado and my manager's week of vacation, apparently I am, to quote one of the owners, a "square peg in a round hole" and they aren't interested in giving me any time to improve.

All of which I was completely unaware of until they called me into the office. I knew I'd been doing somewhat poorly, but I had no idea it was enough that they would let me go without giving me a chance to do better. After four weeks of work...none of this whole situation really makes much sense to me.

Anyway...the thing that has me most worried about this whole problem is not so much losing my job - because Ian is amazing and has said I can come back to PIU next week - but about what will happen to me in the fall. I could possibly go back to school in the fall, but I just feel like I shouldn't do that if any other options are open. I have made committments to BSF and to the youth ministry at church, and it will still be possible to keep them if I'm in school, but it will be very difficult. And I was so happy to have this school year to grow in those ministries and to be able to fully commit to them, and then go back to school in fall of '12. So if anyone would like to pray for me, pray that God would make His plan for my life this school year very evident! I do not want to break these committments that I've made, but I will if I know that's what God wants. But I feel more and more as though me losing this job is an attack on those ministries - and if that's the case it only makes me want to do them even more! So if you would pray that God will provide another wonderful job for me that will allow me to make money, get even more job skills and experience, and keep the ministry committments I've made for the school year, I would GREATLY appreciate it!!! That was what I felt God was giving me a month ago - and after today I have no idea what He wants my response to be. I have no idea why He's allowed me to lose this job in the way I did. All I know is that I want to do His work - however that looks.

I'm desperate to still be a BSF leader and a youth leader - and I will still be a youth leader no matter what I do in the fall - so prayer that whatever God wants in those respects is all I want right now.

"The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy - I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly." ~John 10:10

God, please let me experience abundant life in You!!! I thank and praise You for everything You have done in my life thus far to grow me this much, and I only ask that You make Your plan for my future clear!

Great is Your faithfulness

Great is Your faithfulness, O God my Father!
You have fulfilled all Your promise to me
You never fail and Your love is unchanging
All You have been, You forever will be!

Great is Your faithfulness
Great is Your faithfulness
Morning by morning, new mercies I see
All I have needed, Your hand has provided
Great is Your faithfulness,
Father, to me!


I HAVE SO MUCH THAT I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THAT I REALLY THINK I MIGHT BURST WITH JOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy and so grateful and so humbled and so joyful and so blessed!!!!!!!!

First of all, I have a new job that is practically perfect in every way. I have the best schedule ever (I never have to be at work before 8am or past 7pm), I get 35 hours per week, and $9 per hour!!!!! And I am learning to be detail oriented, and to become comfortable making phone calls (I literally hate talking on the phone so much it's insane), and to multi task and to exercise my people skills, and I LOVE IT!!!!!!!! This job is so, SO perfect for me, and it came when I needed it DESPERATELY. I am so grateful, SO grateful to have it!!!

I must just make a shoutout here to my cousin/best friend: Samuel Richard, I love you with the passion of a thousand fiery burning suns. I am so glad that you are my cousin and my best friend. You don't get to choose your family, but I got SO lucky in getting you for my cousin. I love you and I am praying so hard for you :)

And Elizabeth called me today and asked me to pray about being a BSF leader this year!!!!!!!! I cannot believe it!!!!!!!! I was not expecting that at all. AT ALL. I can't believe it. God, please make it clear to me if I should do it! I can't believe she even asked me. I just can't believe it. I'm so happy right now. I can't believe what God has done for me. He has blessed me beyond anything I could have asked for. All glory and honor and praise be to His awesome name!!!!

I cannot wait to see what happens this summer and this fall. God has some amazing things in store for me.

and you won't bring me down

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game

Too late for second guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes, and leap!

It's time to try defying gravity
I think I'll try defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
and you can't bring me down!


Thusly is my life described right now. I am in a race against the clock. I have set myself ten days to pass my exam, and if it took fewer days than that I would LOVE it. And I'm not even thinking about what happens after I pass my exam - just doing that makes me panic. I need money like I've never needed money before. And I think - I think - I can get it in just enough time.

D-Day is no longer June 6...for me it is June 1. And I believe I will know the outcome of June 1 by May 21.

(Random side note: it is entirely possible that I am the most shallow person ever. Just throwing that out there. Thank you and good night.)

Anyway...I gotta study my brains out for that exam, and I WILL pass it on my first try, and I will make money, and I will be ready for whatever God brings me. This feels like a soap opera - everything depends on that exam, and I must pass it, and if I don't, lives will be destroyed and no one can ever find out about my past and my secret love child with the town's police chief because I'm actually a 300-year-old witch and I'm also actually a man...okay too far. But still. This is crazy.

Oh! And I remember now what I was going to say before. This is for all you people out there who have tried to give me advice about my life. Some of you have done that in love and out of a genuine desire to help me, which I so appreciate, but some of you have just done it condescendingly. But honestly, I don't need your advice anymore. The three things that people always say to me are: "You better go back to school, because you'll regret it if you don't." And: "Life insurance sales, hm? That's a tricky, tricky business. Better get a job with steady money, at least on the side, even if you don't really like that job." AND of course, who can forget this one: "Oh, you don't want a boyfriend. Being single is so much easier."

Okay, let's start with statement A. I know, know, KNOW that I will regret it if I don't go back to school!!!!!! Which is why I AM going back!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just because I haven't decided on an exact date doesn't mean I won't go back. I will. I WILL. And if somehow God has a different plan for my life that doesn't involve school, who are YOU to say that I'll regret that? I was very wounded by my experiences in school, and I am not ready to put myself back into that position yet. I am not ready. And you don't know that about me. You don't know what I've been through, and you don't know what God is asking of me, and you don't know the plans He has for me. So stop looking down your nose at me and insisting I take the socially acceptable route, and let me find the route that God has made for me. I will go back to school when I am ready, and until then, let me do what I need to do.

Statement B: I realize that sales is a difficult business, and life insurance is complicated and the exam will be difficult. But again, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM CAPABLE OF!!!!! And also, you don't know anything at all about my company. My company is different from State Farm or Aflac or whatever else you know. You don't know how it works and what I will be doing within the company. I am not your typical insurance salesman. I will be a very atypical insurance salesman. That is not what my company is about. And there is no need to look down your nose at my amazing company, nor is there a need to question my ability to do well on the exam. I will pass it and I will do well at my job. I will. And if you could attempt to be happy for me, that might be nice. But it's whatevs. I really don't care much for you.

Statement C: Oh my gosh. Believe me. I know exactly how easy it is to be single. I have been single for my entire life. And don't think I'm not grateful. I am SO VERY grateful I didn't have a boyfriend in high school. I'm glad I didn't have a boyfriend last year, because I probably would have broken up with him. I am so glad to have been single this long, because it truly has made my life that much easier. HOWEVER...I am SO READY to NOT be single anymore!!! I want to know, finally, what being in love is like. I want to remember how it feels to love someone like that, and more importantly, I want to experience for the first time how it feels to have someone love you back. I want so badly to be married and have children. So I appreciate that you might just be trying to make me feel better, but really, you don't know what I want. Clearly, you have no idea what I want, or else you wouldn't have said that. I want to be in a relationship, moving in the direction of marriage, more than almost anything. I don't want to get married immediately - if it makes you feel any better, I will take my own sweet time in my relationships, and not rush into something that is wrong. But please don't tell me that I don't want a boyfriend. I do want one. I do. Whenever you say that I don't, you could not be more wrong. You could try, but you would not be successful. But again, it doesn't really matter, because I don't really care very much for you.

Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me. And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
All you are is mean.
And a liar.
And pathetic.
And alone in life.
And mean.

Why you gotta be so mean?

this'll be the day that I die

I could not be more thankful for where I am NOT today.

I am not stuck in a job that I hate.

I do not have to deal with constant idiocy, mediocrity or stupidity.

I am not surrounded by people who bring me down.

I do not get home from work and cry.

I am not on my feet 8-9 hours a day, 5-6 days a week.

I am not hiding from every single person in my life. Including God.

I am not in a state of constant fear-induced nausea.

I do not lie to everyone's face about how I am feeling or what I am doing.

I do not go to sleep thinking how glad I am to have eight hours or so where I do not have to feel pain and where I cannot be hurt.



Of course, there are some things in my life I would like to work on...

I have to, have to, HAVE TO study.

I have to pass the state exam.

I have to make more money.

I have to find a way to keep my room and house clean.

I have to take care of myself. My body, my mind.

I have to die to self DAILY.

I have to spend time with the Lord DAILY.

I have to listen for His voice, His Word, His instructions.

I have to serve others, put their needs above my own. DAILY.

I have to do all these things to become the person I need to be. To be able to be the wife and the mother I long to be. I will commit to do these things for my future family. For my husband, and my children. I promise you I will. I promise I will. I will.

"There in your wilderness He's waiting for you - come, worship Him with your wounds, for He's wounded too!"

all tangled up

"Once upon a time in a faraway land, there was a beautiful little kingdom ruled by a good king and a kind and gentle queen..."

...and they always have a beautiful baby girl, who grows to be the most beautiful and graceful princess in the world. Usually she has blonde hair and blue eyes, in which case she is sweet, gentle and graceful, and her suitors are drawn to her perfect manners and pure femininity. If she has brown hair, she is intelligent and witty, and the prince loves her for her brains. If she has red hair, she has a fiery temper and acts independently and impetuously, and the man is there to tame her, in a sense.

More often than not, there is an animal sidekick of some kind, perhaps a loveable horse or a fast-talking squirrel or even a chameleon.

There are always forests. There are always castles (not palaces - castles), and there are usually cottages tucked deep in the woods.

There are usually witches or enchantresses. Witches are evil, but enchantresses are rarely used as anything more than a plot device. Enchantresses merely cast their spells and are then never heard of again in the story. Witches, however, tend to be the main villains of the story. Sometimes they are even members of the protagonist's family in disguise (well, step-family members).

Anything is possible in the world of a fairy tale. No matter what the girl is - if she is a peasant, or a maid, or a shepherdess, or a lady-in-waiting, or the princess herself - she can be transformed into someone worthy of love. Her beauty cannot be hidden by rags or dirt or cinders or whatever she suffers at the hands of others. The prince always gets the princess.

But what happens if the prince and princess never meet? What does the princess do with herself? And honestly, what was she really doing before she met the prince? Take some of the classic Disney princesses.
-Snow White was a slave in her stepmother's castle, but all she did was dream of her prince and sing to her animal friends ("Someday My Prince Will Come").
-Aurora did the same thing - all she did was dream of her prince ("Once Upon a Dream") and sing about her unknown love to her animal friends.
-Cinderella was also a slave to her stepfamily, and she also did a lot of singing to her animal friends about her dreams coming true ("A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes").
-Ariel searched for human things and dreamed endlessly of the human world ("Part Of That World").
Basically all the princess ever does is sing to her animal friends and dream of things that seem far beyond her reach.

And what of the princes themselves? They all seem to know their princesses by the most fleeting glimpses or the faraway sound of their singing voice.
-Snow White's Prince heard her singing and fell in love without so much as a how-do-you-do.
-Prince Philip heard Aurora singing to her animal friends and while they at least finished out the song together, they too never had an actual conversation before Philip was determined to marry her.
-Cinderella's Prince caught a glimpse of her from across an entire ballroom filled with hundreds of beautiful girls, and they fall in love after one dance together, though they are never seen speaking to one another until the stroke of midnight falls and Cinderella runs away.
-Prince Eric falls in love after hearing Ariel's voice singing to him, although he cannot remember her face.

It must be so nice to be a fairytale prince or princess. If you are a prince, you can tell your soulmate merely by the sound of their voice or a glimpse of them working or one waltz. If you're a princess, all you have to do is sing all day long and make sure you show up at every ball, and your prince can't help but find you.

If only it were that simple in the real world. In the real world, you are flawed.
Maybe you can't sing - maybe you can't carry a tune in a bucket.
Maybe you don't get invited to the ball.
Maybe your prince sees you, but never imagines that YOU are his princess.
Maybe instead of being covered in cinders and dirt, you struggle with insecurities or you feel like you can't trust anyone.
Maybe your heart was broken.
Maybe YOU were broken.
Maybe you hide yourself, not wanting your prince to see you in rags, covered in cinders and dirt.

But maybe that's how your prince is supposed to find you.
Maybe your prince is the one who will invite you himself to the ball.
Maybe you will hear his voice and know that he is the one for you.

Maybe you still get to live happily ever after.