Today I saw a friend who I haven't seen in 3 weeks. Knowing today would be the first time I would see him, I woke up this morning thinking of what I would be telling him. Things that have happened in my life, how school and my apartment and everything is all going. And I realized something.
My life is about to be absolutely amazing.
No, seriously.
I'm totally freaking out right now...but there's no reason for me to.
I feel that I ought to be completely and totally frightened.
After all, I am going back to school. The place where my life totally fell apart. The place where I failed more miserably than I've ever failed before. The place that scared me out of my mind. The place that brought on more pain than I've ever experienced. The place that led me into severe depression. The place that broke me.
But this time, it's all different.
I live in an apartment, not the dorms. (Oh, the dorms...) I live with Sam, my cousin and best friend, instead of some random girl I've never met. And our apartment is everything we have been planning it would be, and then some. It's the most perfect place for us. It literally could not be more perfect, unless it was a little bigger, but I am not even complaining, it's still so perfect just the way it is. I have wanted to live in that apartment for the past three years, and I have wanted to live with Sam for the past year, and now we do live there. And it's everything I needed and wanted it to be, and more.
I have the most perfect class schedule ever. EVER. As follows:
Monday: 11-11:50am Voice Class
1-2:20pm Sociology
5:30-8:20pm Reading Education
Tuesday: 2:30-3:50pm Band
7-9pm BSF, Genesis study (not a class, but the most amazing Bible study ever!!!)
Wednesday: see Monday
Thursday: 12-1:20pm Flute Choir
2:30-3:50pm Band
It couldn't be a more perfect schedule. It really, really couldn't.
And the part of me that remembers last time I was at school is trying to freak out...but there isn't anything to freak out about this time.
I have two years of ministry under my belt, and that has taught me more than any class or any experience ever has. Two years of youth ministry and BSF leadership and job struggles and friendship changes and growth. It's been insane, but it's exactly what I needed to prepare me for school again.
This is my anthem and this is my song
The theme of the stories I've heard for so long:
God has been faithful and will be again!
His loving compassion, it knows no end
All I have needed, His hand will provide
He's always been faithful to me!
Praise God for His faithfulness and provision and mercy and grace and utter, complete goodness. That's all I can do. All I can ever do.
