There was a barber and his wife
And she was beautiful
A foolish barber and his wife
She was his reason and his life
And she was beautiful
And she was virtuous
And he was...naive
Wait! What's your rush, what's your hurry?
You gave me such a
Fright, I thought you was a ghost
Half a minute, can't you
Sit, sit you down. Sit!
All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks.
Did you come in for a pie, sir?
Do forgive me if me head's a little vague
What was that?
But you'd think we had the plague
From the way that people
Keep avoiding (no you don't!)
Heaven knows I try, sir
but there's no one comes in even to inhale.
Right you are, sir, would you like a drop of ale?
Mind you, I can hardly blame them
These are probably the worst pies in London
I know why nobody cares to take them
I should know
I make 'em
But good? No.
The worst pies in London.
And no wonder, with the price of meat what it is
When you get it.
Never
Thought I'd live to see the day
Men'd think was a treat finding poor
Animals
What are dyin' in the street
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop
Does a business, but I notice somethin' weird
Lately all her neighbor's cats have disappeared.
Have to hand it to her
What I calls
Enterprise
Poppin' pussies into pies
Wouldn't do in my shop
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick
And I'm telling you, them pussycats is quick.
No denyin' times is hard, sir
Even harder than the worst pies in London
Only lard and nothin' more.
Is that just
Revoltin'
All greasy and gritty
It looks like it's moltin'
And tastes like--
Well, pity
A woman alone
With limited wind
And the worst pies in London!
Ah, sir
Times is hard
Times is hard
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