Just some thoughts on my mind, with help from last week's BSF lecture :)
How often do you look in the mirror? What do you see when you do? What things do you try to highlight? What things do you try to hide? What do you hope people see when they look at you? Are you really what you want people to see? Or do you want them to see something completely different? Why do you look in the mirror?
I look in the mirror constantly. When I get up in the morning to go to work, I dress myself and make sure my shirt is tucked in, my pants are zipped up (!), my hair is up nicely and my makeup is done. All of that involves standing in front of the mirror for 5-10 minutes, depending on how long I've overslept. Then, when I'm at work, I constantly check my reflection in windows or any reflective surfaces to make sure my hair still looks nice, I haven't sweated off my makeup, I haven't spilled anything on my shirt. I am always looking in the mirror to make sure I still look like what I want to be - which, if I were to be completely honest, what I want to be is desireable. Desireable as an employee, a server, someone you want to be around. Whatever the context, I usually want to look - and be - desireable.
But when I look into the mirror of God's Word, what do I see? Do I see a mature Christian, complete in Christ, a servant with whom He is well pleased? Do I see someone covered in His righteousness, made right before God, His beloved and treasured daughter? Hopefully I see all of those things - and more. God's Word as a mirror shows us in right standing before God through Christ's blood, but it also shows us the work we have yet to do. What we are rooted in will blossom on our lips - wise speech reveals minds that are fixed on Jesus. James 3 tells us that no man can tame the tongue, but with God's help, we can use it for His glory. Being consumed by God produces peace that comsumes our relationships - do you have any difficult relationships in your life? How will you ask God to produce peace in your relationships? Will you allow yourself to be consumed by God? We all experience God's amazing grace - but are you mistaking His grace for His approval of your actions, when in actuality He is waiting for you to grow up, to mature? I know I do this. How can I change, Lord? How can I continue to grow my faith in You?
Prayer is an excellent way to start. Wise prayer provides protection and removes doubt - what do your prayers look like? Are your prayers merely the words you sandwich between "Dear God" and "amen"? Too many of mine are. Do you praise God for who He is? Do you praise Him for His love, His faithfulness and mercies which are new every morning? His almighty power, His knowledge of everything, His perfect plan, His beautiful creation, His absolute and total goodness? Do you thank Him for the blessings He's given you? His financial and material provisions for you, the roof over your head and the food on your table and the clothes on your back, your job in this wretched economy, the resources for academic and spiritual education that are right under your nose any way you turn, the friends and family He's given you? The work He did on the cross on your behalf, sending His only Son Jesus Christ to die for your sins so that you could spend eternity with Him in heaven? How can you - how can I! - not thank God every day for these blessings? And these blessings are merely a drop in the ocean, the tip of the iceberg, of everything God has done for you and for me. Will you commit to pray and thank God every day? Will you pray for those who are in need, for those who don't know the Lord, those who are broken, abused, rejected, scorned, bullied? Those who need encouragement? Who need financial aid? Medical care? Protection of any kind? Nothing - absolutely nothing is too small to pray about. God cares for the tiniest of details - will you take those to Him too?
Will you look in the mirror and ask God to show you what He wants of you? What will you see the next time you look in the mirror?
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Thursday, March 15, 2012
take a sad song and make it better
I'm pretty sure I've just accepted a fact I've been trying to deny for a long time. And that fact is: I'm probably not as much of a writer as I'd like to think I am. I've become one of those super annoying writers who whine about the fact that there's a brilliant novel locked in their heads and they just cannot get it out. To be fair, writing is really a full-time job. If I really wanted to write my novel, I would need to devote at least 3-4 hours a day writing it. Not something I am able or willing to do at this point. Most of the time, I just can't be bothered to write, as evidenced by the date of the last entry in this blog. January 16. Almost exactly two months ago. I feel as though I promise myself things and then do not have the self-discipline to see them through. I've promised myself to write my novel - haven't written a sentence in weeks. I've promised myself to read certain books by the end of the month - haven't even bought them. I've promised myself to work on some stuff for the school year - haven't even given it a thought. Sigh. Story of my life.
But I'm really trying a few new things! I really am! I'm re-reading The Great Gatsby and The Great Divorce for the first time since high school, and I'd like to write reviews of them when I'm done. I'm making an audio recording of The Voyage of the Dawn Treader and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, and hope to perfect my technique along the way. A rather strange life goal of mine is to record audio books and get paid to do so! I don't see it as a particularly realistic life goal, but a life goal it is nonetheless. And yes - I still want to write my novel. Maybe once the school year ends in May, and I will have more time, I will devote an hour a day or so to writing. In the meantime, I'm going to try to stop sounding like such a whiny little poser and just write what comes. And since I have an hour or so of alone time left, I believe I'll work some more on my audio recordings.
Also, I finally joined GoodReads. Here's hoping I make something of that!
But I'm really trying a few new things! I really am! I'm re-reading The Great Gatsby and The Great Divorce for the first time since high school, and I'd like to write reviews of them when I'm done. I'm making an audio recording of The Voyage of the Dawn Treader and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, and hope to perfect my technique along the way. A rather strange life goal of mine is to record audio books and get paid to do so! I don't see it as a particularly realistic life goal, but a life goal it is nonetheless. And yes - I still want to write my novel. Maybe once the school year ends in May, and I will have more time, I will devote an hour a day or so to writing. In the meantime, I'm going to try to stop sounding like such a whiny little poser and just write what comes. And since I have an hour or so of alone time left, I believe I'll work some more on my audio recordings.
Also, I finally joined GoodReads. Here's hoping I make something of that!
Monday, January 16, 2012
we're moving along in a yellow boat
I just bought a new Jodi Picoult book - Change of Heart - and first of all, anytime I read any of her books, it makes me ache inside. The profundity of her statements, however minute or trivial, or devastatingly heartwrenching, is something I can only dream to achieve in my own writing. But her statements about God - and I try to remind myself it’s merely her fictional characters thinking these things - make me writhe inside. Her world is so many thousands of shades of gray, and while she’s often quite possibly correct, her views on religion and God are just twisted enough that I can’t stand it. Her view of religion is restricted to Roman Catholicism, and people who go through the motions but don’t live the life they hear preached to them every Sunday (or holiday they choose to attend) at Mass. Priests who are closeted pedophiles, or murderers, or drunks, or at best pompous windbags who can whip out the names of all the saints in one breath but who don’t even notice the brokenness of the people they meet in confession. These are people who have been wounded, who have given up on the idea of a God because they don’t understand how He could allow the suffering that they have endured and still call Himself a just, loving and merciful God. People who believe that God does not understand what He’s asked them to endure, that God hasn’t had the exact same temptations and limitations, that He hasn’t had to watch His Son die, too. People who take justice and judgment into their own hands because God's version just isn't working for them. I want to write a book that tells of who Christ is, and who we are. I want to do that with the same profundity as Jodi Picoult - and I'm working on it.
I want to write of broken people who in their brokenness reach out to God and find Him.
I want to write of people who find their strength in Him, who soar on eagles' wings and run without growing weary.
I want to write of people who humble themselves and find joy and give thanks in all circumstances.
I want to write of people who forgive others the way Christ forgave them.
And yet I want it to be real.
I want my characters to be flawed. I want them to be broken. I want them to screw up. I want them to be sinners.
It's being written. It is. And soon part of it will be posted....
I want to write of broken people who in their brokenness reach out to God and find Him.
I want to write of people who find their strength in Him, who soar on eagles' wings and run without growing weary.
I want to write of people who humble themselves and find joy and give thanks in all circumstances.
I want to write of people who forgive others the way Christ forgave them.
And yet I want it to be real.
I want my characters to be flawed. I want them to be broken. I want them to screw up. I want them to be sinners.
It's being written. It is. And soon part of it will be posted....
Monday, January 2, 2012
so far we are so close
A passage from my favorite Jodi Picoult book, The Pact.
"What bothers you the most?"
Chris fell silent. It wasn't that he was not being taken at his word; if the situation had been reversed, he too might have his doubts. It wasn't even that everyone in the whole goddamned school was treating him like he'd grown six heads overnight. It was that, having seen him with Emily, they could believe he would ever willingly hurt her.
"I loved her," he said, his voice breaking. "I can't forget that. So I don't see why everyone else can."
Dr. Feinstein motioned again toward the wing chair; Chris sank into it. He watched the tiny cogs inside the tape recorder chug in slow circles. "Would you tell me about Emily?" the psychiatrist asked.
Chris closed his eyes. How could he convey to someone who'd never even met her the way she always smelled like rain, or how his stomach knotted up every time he saw her shake loose her hair from its braid? How could he describe how it felt when she finished his sentences, turned the mug they were sharing so that her mouth landed where his had been? How did he explain the way they could be in a locker room, or underwater, or in the piney woods of Maine, but as long as Em was with him, he was at home?
"She belonged to me," Chris said simply.
Dr. Feinstein's eyebrows lifted. "What do you mean by that?"
"She was, you know, all the things I wasn't. And I was all the things she wasn't. She could paint circles around anyone; I can't even draw a straight line. She was never into sports; I've always been." Chris lifted his outstretched palm and curled his fingers. "Her hand," he said. "It fit mine."
"Go on," Dr. Feinstein said, encouraging.
"Well, I mean, we weren't always going out. That was pretty recent, a couple of years. But I've known her forever." He laughed suddenly. "She said my name before anything else. She used to call me Kiss. And then when she learned the word kiss for real, she'd get it all confused and look at me and smack her lips." He looked up. "I don't remember that, exactly. My mom told me."
"How old were you when you met Emily?"
"Six months, I guess," Chris said. "The day she was born." He leaned forward, considering. "We used to play together every afternoon. I mean, she lived right next door and our moms would hang all the time, so it was a natural."
"When did you start going out?"
Chris frowned. "I don't know the day, exactly. Em would. It just sort of evolved. Everyone figured it was going to happen, so it wasn't much of a surprise. One day I kind of looked at her and I didn't just see Em, I saw this really beautiful girl. And, well...you know."
"Were you intimate?"
Chris felt heat crawling up from the collar of his shirt. This was an area he did not want to discuss. "Do I have to tell you if I don't want to?"
"You don't have to tell me anything at all," Dr. Feinstein said.
"Well," Chris said. "I don't want to."
"But you loved her."
"Yes," Chris answered.
"And she was your first girlfriend."
"Well, pretty much, yeah."
"So how do you know?" Dr. Feinstein asked. "How do you know that it was love?"
The way he asked was not mean or confrontational. He was just sort of wondering. If Feinstein had been bitter, or direct, like that bitch detective, Chris would have clammed up immediately. But as it stood, it was a good and valid question. "There was an attraction," he said carefully, "but it was more than that." He chewed on his lower lip for a second. "Once, we broke up for a while. I started hanging around with this girl who I'd always thought was really hot, this cheerleader named Donna. I was like, totally infatuated with Donna, maybe even when I was still together with Em. Anyway, we started going out places and fooling around a little and every time I was with Donna I realized I didn't know her too well. I'd hyped her up in my head to be so much more than what she really was." Chris took a deep breath. "When Em and I got back together, I could see that she had never been less than what I'd figured her to be. If anything, she was always better than I remembered. And that's what I think love is," Chris said quietly. "When your hindsight's twenty-twenty, and you still wouldn't change a thing."
I love this book. I desperately want my book to be something close to as good as this. Oh, if only I could write. If only my characters would come alive, if only my story line would form, if only I had time and energy and brain cells to write the novel that is in my head, waiting to be put down on paper. It will happen. It will! It must. Sometime soon I will post an excerpt from my own book.....
"What bothers you the most?"
Chris fell silent. It wasn't that he was not being taken at his word; if the situation had been reversed, he too might have his doubts. It wasn't even that everyone in the whole goddamned school was treating him like he'd grown six heads overnight. It was that, having seen him with Emily, they could believe he would ever willingly hurt her.
"I loved her," he said, his voice breaking. "I can't forget that. So I don't see why everyone else can."
Dr. Feinstein motioned again toward the wing chair; Chris sank into it. He watched the tiny cogs inside the tape recorder chug in slow circles. "Would you tell me about Emily?" the psychiatrist asked.
Chris closed his eyes. How could he convey to someone who'd never even met her the way she always smelled like rain, or how his stomach knotted up every time he saw her shake loose her hair from its braid? How could he describe how it felt when she finished his sentences, turned the mug they were sharing so that her mouth landed where his had been? How did he explain the way they could be in a locker room, or underwater, or in the piney woods of Maine, but as long as Em was with him, he was at home?
"She belonged to me," Chris said simply.
Dr. Feinstein's eyebrows lifted. "What do you mean by that?"
"She was, you know, all the things I wasn't. And I was all the things she wasn't. She could paint circles around anyone; I can't even draw a straight line. She was never into sports; I've always been." Chris lifted his outstretched palm and curled his fingers. "Her hand," he said. "It fit mine."
"Go on," Dr. Feinstein said, encouraging.
"Well, I mean, we weren't always going out. That was pretty recent, a couple of years. But I've known her forever." He laughed suddenly. "She said my name before anything else. She used to call me Kiss. And then when she learned the word kiss for real, she'd get it all confused and look at me and smack her lips." He looked up. "I don't remember that, exactly. My mom told me."
"How old were you when you met Emily?"
"Six months, I guess," Chris said. "The day she was born." He leaned forward, considering. "We used to play together every afternoon. I mean, she lived right next door and our moms would hang all the time, so it was a natural."
"When did you start going out?"
Chris frowned. "I don't know the day, exactly. Em would. It just sort of evolved. Everyone figured it was going to happen, so it wasn't much of a surprise. One day I kind of looked at her and I didn't just see Em, I saw this really beautiful girl. And, well...you know."
"Were you intimate?"
Chris felt heat crawling up from the collar of his shirt. This was an area he did not want to discuss. "Do I have to tell you if I don't want to?"
"You don't have to tell me anything at all," Dr. Feinstein said.
"Well," Chris said. "I don't want to."
"But you loved her."
"Yes," Chris answered.
"And she was your first girlfriend."
"Well, pretty much, yeah."
"So how do you know?" Dr. Feinstein asked. "How do you know that it was love?"
The way he asked was not mean or confrontational. He was just sort of wondering. If Feinstein had been bitter, or direct, like that bitch detective, Chris would have clammed up immediately. But as it stood, it was a good and valid question. "There was an attraction," he said carefully, "but it was more than that." He chewed on his lower lip for a second. "Once, we broke up for a while. I started hanging around with this girl who I'd always thought was really hot, this cheerleader named Donna. I was like, totally infatuated with Donna, maybe even when I was still together with Em. Anyway, we started going out places and fooling around a little and every time I was with Donna I realized I didn't know her too well. I'd hyped her up in my head to be so much more than what she really was." Chris took a deep breath. "When Em and I got back together, I could see that she had never been less than what I'd figured her to be. If anything, she was always better than I remembered. And that's what I think love is," Chris said quietly. "When your hindsight's twenty-twenty, and you still wouldn't change a thing."
I love this book. I desperately want my book to be something close to as good as this. Oh, if only I could write. If only my characters would come alive, if only my story line would form, if only I had time and energy and brain cells to write the novel that is in my head, waiting to be put down on paper. It will happen. It will! It must. Sometime soon I will post an excerpt from my own book.....
Monday, November 28, 2011
every time it rains, it rains pennies from heaven
CONFESSIONS
I was inspired by another blogger to write a blog post of confessions. Confessions about me, my life, things that I have done/am currently doing, lest anyone be fooled into thinking my life is perfect, I am perfect, I have it all together, or I can do anything. (Which, if you think that, you've obviously never read the rest of my blog...)
1. I am 23 years old and I still live with my parents.
My parents are wonderful people and have allowed me to live with them all this time, rent-free, and I barely do anything to help out around the house. I never do the dishes (although to be fair, my dad is the only one who can really do them well at all). I never vacuum unless asked to. I rarely cook (although that's not really my fault, I'm NEVER home during dinner). I really feel ashamed of myself that I never do anything around the house, but my parents either beat me to the chores or do them so much better that I don't even bother. We'll see if I can get better at this.
2. I have been in BSF my entire life and have yet to do my lesson one section every day, as it's meant to be.
I usually do my lesson split between two days, or else all in one sitting. And I almost always do my Homiletics on Tuesday afternoons before leaders' meeting. Monday and Tuesday are my big homework days. I would LOVE to do my lesson one day at a time, as it's meant to be, but something always gets in the way or more often than not I just forget. And I'm a BSF leader. Yikes...another thing I'd love to get better at!
3. My books are organized alphabetically by author's last name, and my DVDs are organized alphabetically by title...and there ends any and all organization in my room.
I'm very right-brained and like to have my stuff out where I can see it. This drives the left section of my brain CRAZY and I get desperate to have my stuff put away. The result is that my stuff often gets thrown onto the red chair next to my bookcase. Books, DVDs and clothes get piled high on that chair. Every so often I'll put it all away, but without fail another pile will gather, seemingly within minutes. I hate the two parts of my brain that constantly fight with each other on how my room ends up - I LOVE the way it looks when it's clean and everything is put away, but then I hate that I can't see all my stuff, so when I get it out again I don't put it back! It's a very vicious cycle.
4. I am a musician and I desperately want my degree in music education, but I hate practicing and I hate school.
Practicing any instrument is not something I enjoy. It's tedious work, which I don't like, and it's physically painful, which I don't tolerate very well, and often practice sessions feel very unsuccessful, which I can't stand. And I don't like school, because it always gets in the way of other things I want to do. It eats up most of my time and keeps me from being able to spend time with my friends, which I resent. Yet my ultimate life goal is to be a music teacher and spend my days in school teaching students the joy of music and the beauty of being able to express yourself that way. Such a paradox.
5. I love to write, I have an obvious talent for it, and there IS a novel sitting inside my head waiting to be written, but it's been over three months since I've written anything other than blog posts.
I LOVE writing. The English language is hilarious, ridiculous, stupid, beautiful, and I love words and sentence structure. I love using word pictures, and I love describing people and the world and situations with words. I love the profound truths one learns through well-written novels. I love character development and plot twists and emotions and some descriptions. I love writing styles. And I have a novel in mind, part of a plot, a number of characters, and yet I cannot find the time or ability to write anything. This novel desperately needs to get written, and I simply will not make the time to write anything.
6. If I have any extra money, I will most likely spend it on either food, books, DVDs or jewelry.
I heart food. Chipotle, Canes, and Corner Bakery are my current places of choice. And few things are better than going into Half Price Books empty handed and coming back out with a new stack of books and DVDs. Despite the fact that I really need two or three new pairs of shoes, two or three new pairs of pants, and a couple of other practical items of clothing, I will rarely spend my money on those things. I so much prefer accessories and books and DVDs. I have so many books and I love them all, far more than my clothes...
7. My pair of shoes for work make my feet smell terrible, and every day when I come home from work I have to soak my feet in vodka to get rid of the odor.
This pretty much speaks for itself. I've only just discovered the magic of how well vodka removes foot odor, but it really, truly works! Just a couple splashes of vodka in a bucket/foot bath for five to ten minutes will get rid of foot odor. Rinse the vodka off your feet in the tub and you'll be good to go! Of course, your feet will smell ever so slightly of vodka when you're done, but I much prefer that to the dreadful odor of stinky feet. Rub a little lotion on them to get rid of the vodka smell and to help moisturize them.
8. I keep a supply of M&Ms in my room for insurance.
I have a little candy jar that I keep them in, and I love it. I love M&Ms. Pretzel M&Ms are my favorite candy EVER, and I have a bag of those waiting to go in the candy jar next. And basically if you can't think of any reasons a woman would keep a candy jar of M&Ms in her room, then I have nothing to say to you.
Well, that's about all the confessions I have time for. Hopefully you've learned a little something about me, life, the universe, and other such things. More confessions to come at some point in life!
I was inspired by another blogger to write a blog post of confessions. Confessions about me, my life, things that I have done/am currently doing, lest anyone be fooled into thinking my life is perfect, I am perfect, I have it all together, or I can do anything. (Which, if you think that, you've obviously never read the rest of my blog...)
1. I am 23 years old and I still live with my parents.
My parents are wonderful people and have allowed me to live with them all this time, rent-free, and I barely do anything to help out around the house. I never do the dishes (although to be fair, my dad is the only one who can really do them well at all). I never vacuum unless asked to. I rarely cook (although that's not really my fault, I'm NEVER home during dinner). I really feel ashamed of myself that I never do anything around the house, but my parents either beat me to the chores or do them so much better that I don't even bother. We'll see if I can get better at this.
2. I have been in BSF my entire life and have yet to do my lesson one section every day, as it's meant to be.
I usually do my lesson split between two days, or else all in one sitting. And I almost always do my Homiletics on Tuesday afternoons before leaders' meeting. Monday and Tuesday are my big homework days. I would LOVE to do my lesson one day at a time, as it's meant to be, but something always gets in the way or more often than not I just forget. And I'm a BSF leader. Yikes...another thing I'd love to get better at!
3. My books are organized alphabetically by author's last name, and my DVDs are organized alphabetically by title...and there ends any and all organization in my room.
I'm very right-brained and like to have my stuff out where I can see it. This drives the left section of my brain CRAZY and I get desperate to have my stuff put away. The result is that my stuff often gets thrown onto the red chair next to my bookcase. Books, DVDs and clothes get piled high on that chair. Every so often I'll put it all away, but without fail another pile will gather, seemingly within minutes. I hate the two parts of my brain that constantly fight with each other on how my room ends up - I LOVE the way it looks when it's clean and everything is put away, but then I hate that I can't see all my stuff, so when I get it out again I don't put it back! It's a very vicious cycle.
4. I am a musician and I desperately want my degree in music education, but I hate practicing and I hate school.
Practicing any instrument is not something I enjoy. It's tedious work, which I don't like, and it's physically painful, which I don't tolerate very well, and often practice sessions feel very unsuccessful, which I can't stand. And I don't like school, because it always gets in the way of other things I want to do. It eats up most of my time and keeps me from being able to spend time with my friends, which I resent. Yet my ultimate life goal is to be a music teacher and spend my days in school teaching students the joy of music and the beauty of being able to express yourself that way. Such a paradox.
5. I love to write, I have an obvious talent for it, and there IS a novel sitting inside my head waiting to be written, but it's been over three months since I've written anything other than blog posts.
I LOVE writing. The English language is hilarious, ridiculous, stupid, beautiful, and I love words and sentence structure. I love using word pictures, and I love describing people and the world and situations with words. I love the profound truths one learns through well-written novels. I love character development and plot twists and emotions and some descriptions. I love writing styles. And I have a novel in mind, part of a plot, a number of characters, and yet I cannot find the time or ability to write anything. This novel desperately needs to get written, and I simply will not make the time to write anything.
6. If I have any extra money, I will most likely spend it on either food, books, DVDs or jewelry.
I heart food. Chipotle, Canes, and Corner Bakery are my current places of choice. And few things are better than going into Half Price Books empty handed and coming back out with a new stack of books and DVDs. Despite the fact that I really need two or three new pairs of shoes, two or three new pairs of pants, and a couple of other practical items of clothing, I will rarely spend my money on those things. I so much prefer accessories and books and DVDs. I have so many books and I love them all, far more than my clothes...
7. My pair of shoes for work make my feet smell terrible, and every day when I come home from work I have to soak my feet in vodka to get rid of the odor.
This pretty much speaks for itself. I've only just discovered the magic of how well vodka removes foot odor, but it really, truly works! Just a couple splashes of vodka in a bucket/foot bath for five to ten minutes will get rid of foot odor. Rinse the vodka off your feet in the tub and you'll be good to go! Of course, your feet will smell ever so slightly of vodka when you're done, but I much prefer that to the dreadful odor of stinky feet. Rub a little lotion on them to get rid of the vodka smell and to help moisturize them.
8. I keep a supply of M&Ms in my room for insurance.
I have a little candy jar that I keep them in, and I love it. I love M&Ms. Pretzel M&Ms are my favorite candy EVER, and I have a bag of those waiting to go in the candy jar next. And basically if you can't think of any reasons a woman would keep a candy jar of M&Ms in her room, then I have nothing to say to you.
Well, that's about all the confessions I have time for. Hopefully you've learned a little something about me, life, the universe, and other such things. More confessions to come at some point in life!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
I'll be there for you like I've been there before
I'm so tired. I'm so tired it's unreal. I feel very drained, partially because I STILL have not caught up on my sleep since Saturday. And tonight I got my PIU schedule, and there's no telling when my next day off will be. Work, BSF and youth group are taking over my life! And I'm so tired! I'M SO TIRED! This sounds a little whiny, but I just feel so much like a dishrag. So many responsibilities, so many committments, so much giving, not enough rest - and I feel so drained. So drained.
Enter Christ, His love, and the immeasurable riches of His grace. I'm not drained. I can give to others from the immeasurable store of His grace that I have. I can share His love with others because the Holy Spirit makes me able. Everything - EVERYTHING - comes back to Christ. The entire message of the Bible, I'm realizing, is so very, very simple. It always, always, always points back to Christ and what He did on the cross. That is the ultimate way in which God is brought glory - nothing else could have glorified Him so much. He loved us so much that He sent His Son to die for us, so that we didn't have to! We don't have to die! We can live with God FOREVER!
I already feel better.
Friend shoutout - it's insane how much you've done for me. I really can't understand how I've believed the enemy's lies for so long, and you're the first one who's managed to open my eyes to the truth. God knows how to knit together friendships, and I couldn't be more thankful that He knit ours together as He has! I only hope I can be as much of a blessing and encouragement to you as you are to me.
Enter Christ, His love, and the immeasurable riches of His grace. I'm not drained. I can give to others from the immeasurable store of His grace that I have. I can share His love with others because the Holy Spirit makes me able. Everything - EVERYTHING - comes back to Christ. The entire message of the Bible, I'm realizing, is so very, very simple. It always, always, always points back to Christ and what He did on the cross. That is the ultimate way in which God is brought glory - nothing else could have glorified Him so much. He loved us so much that He sent His Son to die for us, so that we didn't have to! We don't have to die! We can live with God FOREVER!
I already feel better.
Friend shoutout - it's insane how much you've done for me. I really can't understand how I've believed the enemy's lies for so long, and you're the first one who's managed to open my eyes to the truth. God knows how to knit together friendships, and I couldn't be more thankful that He knit ours together as He has! I only hope I can be as much of a blessing and encouragement to you as you are to me.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
every time we say goodbye, I die a little...
HUHUHUHUHUH I hate saying goodbye! I hate it! I had to say goodbye to Sam today - he's going back to England for the rest of the school year. I already have a thousand things to tell him....such as - I finished Perfect Match by Jodi Picoult, and on the second to last page, the final piece of information delivered rendered me speechless, gasping at the brilliance of her writing and the depth of the issues that she fearlessly tackles. I bought Date Night on DVD, and I'm not sure it gets any better than Steve Carell, Tina Fey, James Franco and Mila Kunis all in one movie. I saw the new Breaking Dawn trailer, and it looks absolutely breathtaking, despite the horrifically terrible excuse for writing that has made Stephenie Meyer a multi-millionaire. Tonight was my first BSF leaders' meeting, and I'm so, so, SO excited for Thursday!!!! God has already taught me so much through being a leader, and class hasn't even started yet! The spiritual discipline that I'm going to have to learn is going to be incredible. Absolutely incredible. The spiritual warfare that I'm going to have to endure is going to be insane.
I have to make nametags for my whole group, and I think I'm going to take this opportunity to unleash the tiniest bit of my creative side to do it. I'm going to get some plain notecards, write the information in calligraphy type handwriting, and maybe doodle some sort of border or something on there before I get them laminated. I'm excited! I love the idea of arts and crafts but I'm really, really bad at actually DOING them, so this will be good for me, and it will give me something to actually DO with my time...
And now I just want to praise God for how much He has done for me! All I have needed, His hand has provided. He's always faithful, always! And I cannot, cannot live as though He's going to take away the blessings He's given me. That is so, so wrong of me. He knows what I can and cannot bear, and won't ask me to do something that I can't do. I'm so afraid of so many things, but I need to be patient. "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Worrying is ungodly. Worrying is pointless, useless. He will provide everything I need: the counseling, the help, the solution, the money, the house, the roommate, the classes, the instruments. Everything I need, He will provide in His perfect way. I know this. I truly know this and believe it with all my heart. Why is it so easy to forget something I know beyond the shadow of a doubt is true??
I need to write my book. I need to write my book! AHHHHH SO MANY IDEAS, SO LITTLE ABILITY TO GET IT WRITTEN DOWN AT ALL...
Random closing thought: every time I go to Barnes&Noble I think about how much I want the black journal with the ruby slippers on the front. And I wonder when I'll get to buy it.
I have to make nametags for my whole group, and I think I'm going to take this opportunity to unleash the tiniest bit of my creative side to do it. I'm going to get some plain notecards, write the information in calligraphy type handwriting, and maybe doodle some sort of border or something on there before I get them laminated. I'm excited! I love the idea of arts and crafts but I'm really, really bad at actually DOING them, so this will be good for me, and it will give me something to actually DO with my time...
And now I just want to praise God for how much He has done for me! All I have needed, His hand has provided. He's always faithful, always! And I cannot, cannot live as though He's going to take away the blessings He's given me. That is so, so wrong of me. He knows what I can and cannot bear, and won't ask me to do something that I can't do. I'm so afraid of so many things, but I need to be patient. "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Worrying is ungodly. Worrying is pointless, useless. He will provide everything I need: the counseling, the help, the solution, the money, the house, the roommate, the classes, the instruments. Everything I need, He will provide in His perfect way. I know this. I truly know this and believe it with all my heart. Why is it so easy to forget something I know beyond the shadow of a doubt is true??
I need to write my book. I need to write my book! AHHHHH SO MANY IDEAS, SO LITTLE ABILITY TO GET IT WRITTEN DOWN AT ALL...
Random closing thought: every time I go to Barnes&Noble I think about how much I want the black journal with the ruby slippers on the front. And I wonder when I'll get to buy it.
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