Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell

Well, full-time employment is not something I'm very good at. Tutti Frutti is bust. The owners are not good people for whom to work, so I quit. Too bad it took me an entire week to figure that out, but hey, I'm gone, and I never have to go back. Who can even say what will happen now? I'm not very concerned about it right now. There'll be something. God will provide all the money I need. I'll be fine.

And He will also provide me the ability to be a good BSF leader...I just got the first of many e-mails about it, giving me my discussion group contact info, and I am taking deep breaths and prepping myself to begin making the 13 phone calls I need to make. Yes, I have 13 women in my group, and all but three of them are over 30. I am leading a group of women who are all 6-12 years older than me! What have I gotten myself into?? I'm feeling soooooo incapable of doing this, of leading this group of women, but yet I am the one doing it because God has called me to. And His strength will be made evident through my weaknesses. Tomorrow I begin the phone calls and the questions. And tomorrow I begin to practice the music for workshop and leader's meeting...something I feel slightly more comfortable doing. :)

My friends are amazing. I'm so blessed to have so many friends who are truly closer than a brother. So blessed.

Little shoutout to one friend in particular - I'm so glad you're my friend. So glad. I love you more than I can say, and hope that somehow you can be aware of how much I care for you. And if you need anything, I'm here! I can't think of very many things I wouldn't be willing to do for you.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter

I have once again entered the world of food service. Only this time, it's all one thing: FROZEN YOGURT!!! That's right - I now work at Tutti Frutti. I like it a lot. I forgot how much I love customer service, plus there's something about peeling and cutting fruit that is really soothing. It makes one feel productive, I think. Tutti Frutti is very different from Chick-fil-A, though - it's MUCH less official for one thing, much less busy, and there are so many fewer employees! But hey, it's a job, it's hours, and while it's basically minimum wage, it's still money, plus tips! God has a way of providing exactly what is needed. It's a great schedule, plus I can still work a couple shifts a week at Pump it Up, and yet I don't have to be at work all the time like I was at CFA. I can still keep my commitments to BSF and youth group - which is really all I need from a job.

So come see me at Tutti Frutti sometime! Seriously.

In other news, I have just gotten over two days of sore throat and fever that I literally brought upon myself by stressing too much. It's so interesting that stress physically manifests itself in me that way. Two days of sore throat and fever that jumped 4 degrees in 3 hours! It burned out at 102.2, after I took 8.5 pills to try to break it and enable myself to sleep...I really cannot be stressed about anything anymore. I cannot stand being sick. Plus, I need to just give it all to God. I can't allow these things to control me like this. I have tried, believe me I have, to let God bear the burden, to let Him do what He knows is best, to give Him what is already His that I've tried to take away...but clearly I needed a little jolt to really mean it.

I've just started reading Radical Together by David Platt. Never having read Radical, I'm not sure what will come from reading the follow-up first. But already I've been very convicted and encouraged by something he's said. I've been very concerned about my ministry in the youth group - not that I shouldn't be there or that I'm doing something absolutely wrong, but that I'm not having quite the effect I ought to. Here's some wisdom from David Platt:

"As Christians today, you and I can easily deceive ourselves into thinking that dedication to church programs automatically equals devotion to kingdom purposes. We can fill our lives and our churches with good things requiring our resources and good activities demanding our attention that are not ultimately best for the enjoyment of the gospel in our churches and the spread of the gospel in our communities.
We must be willing to sacrifice good things in the church in order to experience the great things of God."

He goes on to conclude: "The gospel compels the church to go to God with everything we have and everything we do and then ask, "What needs to go? What needs to change? What needs to stay the same?"
And then wait for God to answer."

This is really speaking to me. This issue has been on my heart for months. I feel like I'm doing good things in the church and not really spreading the gospel in the way Christ has called me to do. But I'm not sure how to deal with this. I'm still waiting for God to answer. We shall see what He says in the next few weeks! I'm literally so pumped for youth group and BSF to start! I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, August 5, 2011

she's not a saint, and she's not what you think

I'm slightly freaking out right now. Kind of in a good way, kind of in an "I have no idea what's about to happen in my life" kind of way.

BSF (aka Bible Study Fellowship) starts in FIVE WEEKS!!!!!! Only five weeks!!!!!! I'm never going to make it!!!!!!!! In case I have neglected to mention, since I do not update this blog often enough at all, I am going to be a leader for the young adult BSF class in Dallas at Park Cities Baptist on Thursday nights from 7-9. (If anyone wants to come, I just gave you the details. COME!!! IT IS SO WORTH IT!!!!!) BSF starts September 15, and I am going to be a leader. Even though I've been in BSF my entire life, I'm beginning to think I may be in over my head here. I haven't fully participated in a BSF study since high school. I did about six weeks of the John study in '09 and about six weeks of Isaiah this past May. Other than that, I haven't been in BSF since I was 18. It's been nearly FIVE YEARS!!! Holy crap!!!!!!

What have I committed to? What have I said I would agree to? I can't do this. I can't. I'm not good enough. I'm a little flaky when it comes to stuff like this. I don't have the answers. I rely on the notes and on my mom very heavily............and naturally therein is the problem. I'm not relying enough on the Holy Spirit to help me. Not just with the answers, but with my leadership. This bit of panic that I'm having means nothing. I'm doing exactly what God wants me to do. If He doesn't want me to be in BSF leadership, He won't let me.

But seriously. YOU NEED TO COME TO BSF!!!! No matter where you live - there are classes EVERYWHERE. Wherever you live. I'm not kidding. Go to bsfinternational.org and you will find a class near you! Men's, women's, young adults, if you need child care or want your child to be in the children's program, there is a class that you can go to! Morning, evening, maybe even afternoon classes, seriously. There IS a class that will work for you! And you should go. You should go. BSF is a life-changing Bible study. It takes a passage of Scripture and tells you exactly how it can be applied to your life right now. Whatever you're going through, there are ways to apply these Scriptures to your life. Even Scriptures like Obadiah, Leviticus, Numbers, and Haggai, as well as the gospels of John and Matthew, and the writings of Paul. God will open your eyes to countless things you never knew, about Him and His Word and your own life and your own relationship with Him and your relationships with others. I'm not kidding. Please, please, please consider this. This year's study is Acts and Paul's Letters. Classes start the week of September 12. PLEASE consider going to BSF and/or putting your kids through it as well!!!!!

Was that enough of a plug for BSF? I really, really, really hope so.

I feel so humbled and so honored and so privileged to be a leader this year!!!! I can't wait to see what God has in store for our class. Something tells me this school year is going to be very interesting.