Friday, September 21, 2012

a chair is still a chair, even when there's no one sitting there

If God created all things, then it is reasonable to say that our chief reason for being is to glorify Him and enjoy Him forever.

How am I supposed to enjoy Someone who is doing things I don't understand and that are causing me pain?  How am I supposed to enjoy Someone who keeps telling me things I don't want to hear, especially when I think things ought to be different?

As vast and powerful as are the forces of nature, God controls them.  As mighty as some individuals or governments may seem, God rules them.

So why doesn't God change that person's heart?  Why doesn't God allow the circumstances of this person's life to change?  Why doesn't He do what I have been begging Him to do for months?

"With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years is like a day" ~1 Peter 3:8

I've been waiting what feels like a thousand years, and I think I'm being asked to wait a thousand more.  Do I trust God enough to do that?  Do I find enough satisfaction in God alone, and His overwhelming, unending, absolutely amazing love for me, that I can humbly say, "Yes, Lord, I'll keep waiting"?  And maybe even mean it?

Are you convinced that God Himself carried out this great work [the creation of the world]?  Have you begun to realize that He placed you within His world for His high purpose?  How does this change your thoughts and plans for your life?  To what are you dedicating your days and years?

1.  I've only been taught this since I was a baby.  Yes, of course I am convinced.  I've seen enough of the world to know it could never have been created any other way.  I've climbed mountains in Colorado, run through fields of wildflowers in England, walked along the beaches of Santa Domingo, even when I was at the top of the Empire State Building in New York City - I know God is the Creator and Redeemer of this amazing world in which I live.
2.  Another fact I've known for many years.  And I know a few general purposes He has for my life: to bring Him glory, to tell others about Him, to minister in some way in a church setting, to teach in some form of school setting.  How on earth did He choose me?  How did He notice me among the rest of His creation?  And what does He have in store for me??  The best years of my life are underway, and I don't want to waste them.  I don't want HIM to waste them.  What am I thinking??
3.  I know my life is His, to do with what He wants.  BUT WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME??  HOW LONG DOES HE WANT ME TO WAIT??  WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IN THE MEANTIME?
4.  I don't quite know right now.  I'm searching for a ministry, I'm working on being able to teach, and I'm wondering if I will ever be able to have the family I've always dreamed of having.  And whether I'll have to wait ten more years for that to happen.  I think right now, whether it's a good thing or not, I'm dedicating most of my time to waiting...

The first result of receiving Jesus is that light reveals the former darkness.  Jesus, the spiritual light, separeates from darkness.  A new way of life, of thinking and acting in the light, then begins.  Have you received Jesus into your life?  Are you suddenly able to see what you could not understand or appreciate before?  What do you plan to do today concerning your emotions, mind, or actions as this light reveals the truth about God and about you?

Jesus has been Lord of my life since I was eight years old, but I still struggle daily to let Him do His work.  I'm pretty sure He doesn't know that my way is better.  My way is much more efficient, much quicker, and will save so many people SO much pain - particularly ME.  My way is only fair, and quite frankly, I'm a little insulted that He hasn't seemed to grasp just how well it will work and how much time and emotion and energy it will save if we just DID IT MY WAY FOR ONCE!!!  Sigh.  I have already done this, over and over again, but I plan to pray that God will help my unbelief.  Mark 9:24 has been my prayer for months.  "I DO believe - help my unbelief!"  I am still in darkness about why I am still waiting.  Lord Jesus, let my heart submit to whatever it is that You're doing.  I will do whatever You want, it doesn't matter.  I'll do it.  I will.  I don't understand why You keep telling me to wait, and wait, and wait, and You don't tell me anything else, and You allow people to make what I am sure are the wrong decisions.  How am I supposed to help him, and him, and him, and her, and her, and her, and them?  How am I supposed to do this?  Help me, Lord Jesus - help my unbelief.

Now that light and life have come through God's Word, will you enter with Him into a new day, separated from the former empty life and completely reoriented to His beautiful purpose?

His purpose is beautiful.  My life in Him is beautiful.  The rest of the life I have yet to live in Him will also be beautiful.  "He has made everything beautiful in its time." ~Ecclesiastes 3:11 
When will my time come?
What am I waiting for?

My heart, being deceitful above all things and desperately sick (Jeremiah 17:9), wants to continue bemoaning the endless waiting I am enduring, and the pain that accompanies.  But my heart is also a temple of the Holy Spirit, and He is leaving this verse on my mind:

"But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I receieved from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God."  ~Acts 20:24, ESV

^That is my prayer.  Nothing else will cure this pain.  Nothing else will make any difference of any kind.  Nothing else will ever matter.  No one else will ever matter.  Not like that verse does.

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